The Blair Fish Project

My iPhone ownership history is a checkered one. There have been drops, occasional misplacement, cracks and breaks. Cases have helped, and as I have gotten older a little more responsibility has crept into the mix. Still, I recently broke the main camera on the phone. The audio still records, but the camera only takes in a gray, shadowy dark image. If I really need a picture, I use the "selfie" lens at the front of the phone and turn the phone around to snap the picture. It usually looks something like this...

Last weekend brought the greatest day of my fishing life. In the morning, I caught a four pound, five ounce bass. The biggest bass I ever caught. I was at the lake, alone. It was 6:00 am. I took a poor selfie with the inferior front lens. I made a vow to get my phone fixed. This bass deserved a great photo. He didn't get one. He also deserved to go back and live in the lake. As far as I know, he swims there today. The rest of the day was spent basking in the glow of my catch. Sharing my subpar photo and my story with family and friends. Then twilight came... At the last minute, as the sun was setting, my uncle and I decided to hop on the row boat and throw a few lines into the water. Crickets were chirping; frogs sang their throaty song. Night quickly crept in on the last of the day. There was just a faint and dimming light in the sky. The lake looked beautiful, but also had a lonely feel to it. Not a soul in sight, except for my uncle and me. A small breeze came up as I peered into the woods from the boat. All I could see between the trees was a deep darkness and I imagined what might be staring back at me from the woods. Suddenly my pole jumped and my line was pulled down into the water. It actually frightened me, and I had an adrenaline surge. In a moment, I gathered myself and knew I had a big fish on the end of my line. Something bigger than I have ever caught in a lake. Something bigger than my personal-record setter from that very morning. I screamed to my uncle to grab my phone and film my "historic" catch. He did not know I had spent the past months turning my phone into a piece of crap that is generally incapable of capturing anything visible on video. Here is what he captured with my poorly maintained phone (forgive the four-letter exclamation)...